A Message Sent Back from The Spirit World

One particular day two people, Sandra and Kevin, made a joint appointment to discuss issues they needed to resolve prior to their upcoming marriage.

The marriage went ahead as planned and they had a wonderful day. A year later they had a lovely baby boy and two years later another baby boy was born.

As the boys became older, around the ages of five and seven years of age, Kevin found it difficult to parent them. He could engage with them for short periods of time, but as his wife would describe it, he seemed to ‘drift off’ then loose his patience, get angry with the boys, scream at them and then storm off.

Sandra was bewildered by his behaviour and confronted him on several occasions about how this behaviour could affect the children. Kevin dealt with this by calling into the local pub for a few drinks on his way home from work to avoid confrontation with his wife or the children, and also to ensure that the boys would be in bed and asleep by the time he arrived home.

His drinking binges and episodes began to happen more frequently, in the evenings, over the weekends, at family gatherings and social events. He would have copious amounts of alcohol, before any of these events. When he arrived, he would become irritable and pick a fight with someone, and then storm off leaving everyone hurt and embarrassed by his behaviour.

His behaviour got worse over a period of some months. The youngest boy had started bedwetting again. Sandra felt that this was the result of hearing the constant arguments and screaming from downstairs, which could go on for hours.

One day after a particular violent row resulting with broken furniture and glassware, Kevin agreed to attend for energy therapy. Sandra really believed that he would attend, but Kevin never turned up for the therapy sessions. The arguments between Sandra and Kevin got even worse.

One particular evening after scenes of violence which the children had witnessed, Sandra removed the children from the house, and stayed away for a few hours.

When she returned home later, it was dark and there were no lights on in the house. Sandra had a terrible feeling of foreboding. She drove to a nearby relative and asked them to mind the boys for a short while.

As she walked back into her home her gut feeling told her to prepare for something traumatic that had happened. As she opened her front door, to her horror she found her that her husband had ended his own life. Every emotion, feelings of horror, bewilderment, shock, anger, and guilt started racing around in Sandra’s head.

She couldn’t move. She was frozen in shock, then the reality began to sink in of what had happened to her husband. Her first thoughts were for her children. She started making phone calls in a daze. She said at that moment her life had stood still. She felt she had left her body, but knew she must keep going for the sake of their children.

During the funeral arrangements that followed, Sandra followed all the usual procedures in these tragic circumstances in a total haze. Relatives, friends and neighbours were shocked and horrified but were very supportive. She managed to get through all the arrangements around Kevin’s funeral. The hardest part was her children continually asking when was their dad coming home.

Sandra eventually returned for some more sessions of energy therapy. During the first session Sandra went into a state of uncontrollable crying, repeating over and over again that Kevin’s death was all her fault.

(I mentioned at the beginning that I have been psychic from birth and that I ‘see and can converse’ with people who have passed over into spirit. On many occasions during a therapy session someone who had passed into spirit might make contact with me to relay some guidance related to my client)

On the second therapy session, as I worked on Sandra, I could observe her late husband Kevin standing at the side of the therapy table. He indicated that he wanted to explain everything about what had happened, if I would follow his suggestions.

I was quite bewildered and astonished by what Kevin suggested however, I agreed to do as he requested.

Kevin said to bring Sandra to our sitting room. I suggested this to Sandra and she agreed. We were both bewildered but did as he requested and went down the corridor to the sitting room. Kevin then asked that I give Sandra a firelighter to place in the fireplace, light it, and sit back on the settee and watch it burn.

He then asked that I leave the sitting room for a few minutes and let Sandra watch the firelighter as it burned. Sandra did this, and I returned shortly afterwards. I asked Sandra what was happening. As she looked at me, her eyes were full of tears and she was very quiet. She said it was just burning.

Kevin asked me to leave the room again for a few more minutes, which I did. When I returned, I asked Sandra what had happened? She said the firelighter just burned out, it died, should I light another one? I asked the question of Kevin and he said – no, just bring Sandra back to the therapy room and ask her to lie down on the therapy table once again.

We were both astonished by all of this as I had never done anything like this before. Back in the therapy room, Kevin wanted to tell Sandra a story. He started off by saying that, she was in no way to blame for what had happened to him. She was not responsible in any way for his actions. Kevin said that as his children reached a certain age, he began to have flashbacks to what had happened to him around the same age as his children were now. He had been a victim of sexual abuse from a young age and he couldn’t handle seeing the vulnerability of his own children.

Kevin continued by saying that he used alcohol to suppress all his pain. He managed to do this until his children got older and this was when his behaviour became unacceptable. He said he couldn’t seem to push down the pain of his early childhood far enough, the feelings and emotions just kept bubbling up.

On the night in question, he realised that he was like the firelighter. In order to keep his spark or his fire lit, it would mean that he would have to rely on someone else to do this. He felt he was only able to keep his fire burning as long as someone else provided the fuel.

Kevin explained that his fire had been almost extinguished from many years before he met his wife. First of all, his wife’s love, kindness and patience had been his fuel. Then his children were a purpose to keep him going, but at the end of the day, his children reflected back his own vulnerability. He felt he couldn’t be the parent they needed while he was still affected by the fears and traumatic memories of his childhood.

Kevin said that what he did, may seem cowardly and selfish, and he did not excuse what he had done or the hurt it had caused. He did it from a point of hopelessness and helplessness. He said it doesn’t have to be that way with all the help that is available now. Kevin said he felt at the time that for him to pick up the courage to acknowledge, seek help and face his demons was too little too late.

Kevin said, he lived in a world of denial hoping one day the pain would go away. Hoping to block it all out. He hoped not consciously but at some level that his marriage would help him to forget all that had happened to him as a young boy. Then when the children came along, they were a great distraction for a while, but as they grew older, he was less able to cope. It was like watching himself, and how vulnerable they were also. Kevin said the less he coped, the more he drank and the more he drank the worse he felt. He felt helpless and hopeless. There was never enough alcohol to keep the painful feelings at bay.

Kevin said that he wanted to help his wife understand the reasoning behind what he did, what had happened and what had led him to his final decision.

His wife continued to avail of energy therapy on a regular basis. As his children grew up and were doing well, he made his presence less visible during therapy sessions. On Sandra’s last therapy session, he asked me to tell his wife that he is at peace now where he is. Sandra continues on her life’s journey with her two sons with hope rather than despair or hopelessness for their future, also with insight and awareness.

Healing comes from within, with help we can all heal

As a therapist I learned that we can help someone on their life’s path. We can share the path with someone, but we can never walk the path for them. Healing comes from within. With help we can all heal.