(Story 64) Old Hurts
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(Story 64) Old Hurts

Story 64. Old Hurts

 

Would you like that someone would change his or her behaviour towards you?

You have chosen this story to bring awareness to you that there may be “old hurts” which you may have covered up for years, old hurts that you may now need to deal with and heal from.

 

An event may have occurred early in your life, which may have caused you severe shock or trauma. Someone may now be triggering those old hurts. They may not be causing your hurt, but they may be triggering it.

There may have been times in your life, when you felt family, friends, or work colleagues were causing you undue hurt. You may have wished that they (the person) would change, but is there a possibility it is their behaviour you had wished would change, rather than the person?

This behaviour may be triggering deep physical, emotional and mental wounds from which you may not have fully recovered. For some, there is not just one incident of hurt, but many incidences reinforced over and over again over many years. Just because the scar is no longer visible, it does not necessarily mean that the hurt has healed.

When we find ourselves in a situation where old hurts are being triggered we develop coping methods or “tools.” Each and every one of us develops coping methods, which help us survive in any given situation. These coping methods help to lessen the hurt or block it out altogether. The more severe the hurt or pain, the greater the need there is to block it. When old pain or hurt has been triggered, and we find ourselves unable to deal with it, we may behave or engage in unacceptable or inappropriate behaviour.

When you express how you feel to a person who is triggering your hurt, you may feel further hurt, because you do not feel heard. In explaining how the behaviour of those around you is affecting you, it is important to separate the person from the behaviour. Remember your partner, friends or family may also have old hurts either physical, emotional or mental that you do not see and may also be triggering.

You may be unconsciously triggering their old hurts or pain. They may use whatever “tools” or coping methods they can to protect themselves, or to block their pain or hurt from surfacing. For example, they may react to your “pain triggering” in an abusive or aggressive manner, or in a way which you may feel does not justify what you may have said or done.

You may have triggered their old pain or hurt, but you did not cause it. You are responsible for what you have said or what you have done, but you are not responsible for their reaction or how they respond to you. If you are allowing yourself to be a victim of their “tools of survival” i.e. their abuse, control or aggressive behaviour, then you must decide whether you want to remain in this situation or not.

Pain and hurt may have been suppressed since early childhood. When you feel hurt or let down by family or friends, it is important to explain to them, that it is their behaviour that you find unacceptable, not the person they are. To them their behaviour may be acceptable, so it is important for you to explain, how it is their behaviour that is causingyou hurt, whether this behaviour is intentional or not.

A person who is trying to heal from past hurts may need a therapeutic environment, where they can feel safe enough, to uncover their wounds. These wounds may have been inflicted over many years and by many people.

 

You can change.

You can get help to change if you wish to do so.

 

Today, ask your God, your guides, your angels to help you, to remove those old bandages gently one at a time, so that you can uncover all those old wounds, hurts, pain, and heal from them. Remember, you may have been a child when you suppressed or blocked the hurt or pain, but you may now be an adult, an adult attempting to deal with all those issues and trying to heal from them.

 

Affirmation:

I will learn to separate the person from the behaviour.

I will become more aware of any old hurts I may have.

I will get help to uncover these hurts and heal from them.

 

 

 

This book can now be downloaded as an E book for Kindle from Amazon.com

Just click this link;

http://www.amazon.com/Your-Own-Therapist-Patricia-Hesnan-ebook/dp/B00GLP167Y/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1386012166&sr=1-2&keywords=be+your+own+therapist


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